Rilke Leah Bienko

We knew it was going to be a big day. Thursday was the first day of the last year of graduate school for us. I woke up early to have copies of my syllabus printed and to tie up some loose ends before the school year began. I taught Color and Composition at 11:00 and then had a Graduate Crit class at 2:00. MJ and I hadn’t talked all day, which was sort of unusual, but with the hustle and bustle of the first day of school, sort of expected. I called MaryJo shortly after class (which went for the full 2 hr 45 min on the first day of class!). She said, “I’m kinda struggling. Are you coming home soon?” When I got home, she handed me a short grocery list and asked me if I was done for the day. I had two things to do still, so I swiped Harper up and the two of us took off to, “help Daddy go to college.” Sidekick in tow, Harper and I overnighted a letter, made a seating chart for a 300 person class, and went to Kroger to get the things on Mom’s grocery list. Mom stayed home and exhaled. After all, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, she had been taking care of an energetic two year old all day while in labor. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her or talking to her.

When Harper and I returned, Mom stayed in the bedroom, readying herself while I readied Harper for bed. MaryJo called the midwife at the hospital who, (exactly like last time) doubted her level of labor because of her calm, pleasant demeanor. We called Sean Mills, a recent Digital Media grad and a great friend. Upon receiving my phone call he dropped everything and said, “Do you want me to run there, because I will.” I picked him up, briefed him and by about 7:30-40, MaryJo and I were off to Athens Regional Hospital. She had bags pre-packed, clothes for Harper pre-laid out and instructions for a babysitter pre-written out. In short, she was pre-pared.

Unfortunately from here, there is little to tell. We arrived at the hospital, registered, (which took over ten minutes and two maybe three contractions) and headed up to the delivery room. MaryJo smiled at me during our registration and said quietly, "Imagine how long it would have taken if I hadn't pre-registered!?” We laughed together while we looked around for some sort of Candid Camera crew. You wouldn’t believe how many people it took and how many times they had to hit the F10 button to let us in.

We met our Midwife Tanya, who said she would go ahead and check if MJ had made any progress. She was floored to see that MJ walked into the hospital, (once again) 7cm dilated. I’d love to take you through the next two hours step by step, but I can’t. It’s a super-real experience that won’t translate. My love and my admiration for my wife are incommunicable. I went to fill her Gatorade bottle half way through and a team of nurses stopped me to see if I was with the girl they had all apparently been talking about. They asked me if she really was 9 cm dilated and “THANKING her husband for rubbing her back DURING her contractions!” At 9:50pm Thursday the 16,th our second child was born. We asked that the nurses not reveal the sex of the child. Instead, the baby was put on MaryJo’s chest immediately. We smiled and kissed and quietly gave thanks for our blessing staring at each other and the baby. My wife looked so beautiful.

After about five minutes, we couldn’t take the suspense. We peaked under the blanket. Maybe it was dark, maybe I didn’t think it was possible, but it looked like a girl. MJ looked and asked the nurses for confirmation. Indeed our eyes had not deceived us. We had a beautiful baby girl. We named her the next day, Rilke Leah Bienko.



This morning, a new midwife came in to check on us. She said that the midwife from the night before had relayed the story to her. She said that in all her years, she had never seen such an amazing, beautiful birth. She said, “those two are something special.” MJ said that was so sweet to hear, and thanked her. I think it meant a lot to her to hear what an amazing job she did from someone else. She was and is, amazing.


Harper is adjusting wonderfully. All he wants to do is "Kiss Rilke?" I wish you could hear the way that he says it. He tells us, "The new baby is very delicate." He is going to be an excellent big brother. Here are some pictures of our growing family.

Harper is Two!

One year ago we were here in Athens celebrating Harper’s first birthday with my mom, sisters, and Harper’s cousin. It was such a wonderful time and I still feel like it was yesterday. But one whole year has passed and it’s amazing what has happened. Harper has grown into such a little person. He talks to us all day long and we constantly get to overhear him singing songs and reciting his favorite books. Harper absolutely loves to be outside. We try to go the park every day that we can and although he enjoys the swing and the slide we think he likes to tell us about them more than actually use them. Either way he has plenty to do there, especially when he finds a nice long stick which makes a perfect golf club to practice his swing in the wood chips. He loves to climb around the jungle gym and because Harper is so sweet and a bit shy he spends a lot of time dodging other toddlers as they zoom around.
It’s somewhat comforting to see that Harper hasn’t changed at all in some ways. His favorite things to do are still reading, singing, and golfing. He still runs to the window every morning and waves to Daddy as he leaves for work, he still gets really annoyed when our neighbors do anything noisy like using a saw, leaf blower, lawn mower, etc, and most of all green blanket is still numero uno!
Harper also has some new interests. He loves playing the piano and we think Julie Andrews may be his hero. We had a feeling he might like Marry Poppins and it is by far his favorite movie. Aside from Baby Einstein World Animals it’s the only movie he requests.

We celebrated Harper’s 2nd birthday with cake, presents, and a trip to The Interactive Neighborhood for Kids. It’s a make believe neighborhood for children that includes a grocery store, vet, doctor’s office, beauty salon, dentist office, library, bank, theater, etc. Every thing is child size and in the center of it all is a really great jungle gym.


Although Harper didn’t really grasp it was his birthday he definitely realized the day was special. We all had so much fun and it was such a happy day.

16 Months

Harper will be 16 months old tomorrow. We celebrated by shaving his head. He has had a mohawk for a while and we thought it was time to try something new. Coincidently Josh just shaved his head, so again they are twins and it is so cute.

This summer we embarked on Harper's second big road trip. We drove from Georgia to New York and back again. Harper was such a sweetie the whole trip. Although Harper was still a bit shy, he managed to enjoy himself alone with Oma and Aunt Leah. It was so sweet to see him slowly start to appreciate all of the affection emanating from my lovely mom and sister. A few days into our trip Josh and I both noticed a change in Harper. He seemed to be getting older right before our eyes. He was becoming more observant and more particular by the day. Apparently Harper is on a learning growth spurt. For the past month he has picked up so many things. It's hard to keep up with it because it has happened so fast. For example Harper knows the sounds of about 10 animals, he has started stringing 2 or 3 words together, he can eat almost effortlessly with a fork, and he can recite several letters of the alphabet. He also understands so much more of what I say. He will correctly respond to so many requests like, please throw it in the garbage, put it in the washing machine, go get a book, please give it to Daddy, sit down on the couch, etc. Sometimes we'll say something not expecting him to understand and he does. I know it is so typical of a toddler to surprise you every day with their capacity to learn but I never expected to be this amazed.

Harper is currently obsessed with two things: Daddy's Moped and buttons. He spends all day trying to get a hand on the keyboard, cell phone, television, and dvd player. When he's not doing that he is telling me all about the Moped. He has the cutest routine in the morning. As soon as Josh gets his sneakers out Harper will say "Daddy! Scooter! Brrrmmmm! Buy Buy! Scotter! Scooter! Scooter! Brrrmmm!" He concienciously works on his pronuciation. For scooter he'll say "sssss-doe-doe", for fan he'll say "fffff-dan".
Harper is definatley a handful but everyday brings more fun and Josh and I are enjoying every minute of it.

Rememberance of Things Past

11 Months Old

Literally, you blink. You blink and that six month old rolling around in the laundry is now tugging at your leg saying "up up up," because he's tired of walking around. In the past three days, Harper has decided that walking is ok so he's just gonna go for it. In the previous weeks he has been comfortable walking from Mom to Dad and then back but apparently that wasn't cutting it. Now he just goes blazing off so condfidently marching himslf right over toys and books and Dad and then collapses when things get going a little too quickly.

Harper's first word was without a doubt, "hat." He closes his eyes and sort of picks up steam and then bursts with a "Hat!" He does all of the normal baby tricks, like "how big is Harper?" (both hands shoot to sky) and "Yay Yay, Clap Clap" (hands clapping). It seems like he's been fake sneezing and coughing for months now. That is a sight to see. His favorite books include Sheep in a Jeep (which he calls "Uh-Oh"). The books goes, "Sheep in a Jeep on a hill that's steep." Harper predicts the next page with "Uh Oh, The Jeep won't go." He only gets the Uh-Oh part for now. His favorite book of all time is Five Little Ducks. I've even tried beating him at his own game and reading it until he just can't stand it anymore. I have not found his breaking point yet. Neither MaryJo or myself can decipher what this means but as soon as you begin to read this book to him he looks straight into your eyes and makes the "brrrrr" sound. He does it so seriously like it's something you really need to know. "Brrr!" "BRRRR!" "Sheesh is anyone listening to me?"

He is not eating at night anymore. Five out of ten nights he sleeps from about 7:00 to about 7:00. If he does wake up I get to go into his bedroom and try to rock him back to sleep. He has a very very soft white Blankey that comforts him at night.

Unfortuntely his favorite toy bar none is the computer and the mouse. He would do anything to have five minutes with that keyboard. The sadest funniest thing that happens is, when he gets on his toes and starts grabbing for the mouse I say, "Harper, no no," and I go over and pick him up. He instantly begins sobbing, and shaking his head, no no. It's so damn cute, I end up laughing. I try not to but it's really hard.

Six Months Old

bulldog laundry
sheep
new smile
hood
first bite
dad overalls
crawl
sleeping harper

Five Months next Sunday

Georgia Bulldawgs. We won tonight. We beat USC. 2 and 0. I watched the game on ESPN. When the cable people came to hook up our Internet we told them we didn't want cable TV. We shot the shat with them for a few minutes. I told then I loved to watch golf. MaryJo said we don't need the distraction. When they left they called MaryJo and said, "Tell your husband to put golf on… Welcome to Athens." Free basic cable just like that. ESPN comes in fuzzy so there's no sound but we just turn on the local radio station and watch the game on mute. The radio tells us what will happen on TV a half second before it happens. It's Preemptively American.

Harper is keeping MaryJo and I both entertained. He is a bundle of joy during the day, especially in the morning. We are patiently awaiting a book that will hopefully help us wean him from the Orthodontic Pacifier. We refuse to call it Binky. He has learned to roll himself over onto his stomach and he's working on making his way back to his back. He's so close. He's old enough to do this to his neck, "Who's my little goof ball?" and nestle your nose right in between his chin line and chest and he laughs and laughs. You have to be cleanly shaven of course. I don't get to see him much Tuesday through Thursday but by Friday we get to spend a lot of time together.

School is going very well. I am completely busy as expected. When I'm not in class or in the studio or at a lecture or at an opening (three in three weeks), I’m home reading or drawing or writing. It's absolutely heavenly. I don't want to look back three years from now and wish I had done more. I've spent my entire life doing that.

MaryJo is staying home with Harper and working part time. Her job couldn't be better. She works only when they need her and even then it is only about 15 hours of work a week, which doesn't sound like a lot but is. That's three hours a day, but if you only get in an hour and a half one day then it's four and a half the next. It adds up very quickly. She is enjoying the weather thoroughly, taking Harper for walks all over the place. We live about 2 tenths of a mile from downtown Athens and about a Mile from Campus. We are 1.6 miles from the Cedar Street Studios (where I paint). Our apartment is perfectly located. There is a very pretty coffee/bakery just down the road from us that I can see us frequenting.

I haven't golfed since I left Ithaca. It hurts. It hurts bad. I just keep telling myself that if I work hard enough I'll be able to get a job at a college that gives incredible faculty discounts on season passes.

Also, I bought a moped. Gas was $3.40 a week ago and a parking permit, which would not permit me to park anywhere near the studios, was three hundred dollars. Add that up over three years it’s $900 plus whatever I spend in gas. This moped gets over one hundred miles to the gallon. Yes, I deal with a modicum of pointed fingers and smirks but it's worth it. I smile back and usually try to do a pop-a-wheelie. This makes the smirks down right laughs.

8.5.05

We're geared up to make our move to Georgia. I thought I should snap a couple of pics before we go. MJ and I have discussed this and we both tend to agree that although newborns are very cute and very new born, a three month old is what it's all about. They smile and laugh and hold hands and shoulders and kick and listen to songs and play giddyup (discovered this today). They're just a joy. He sits up in our arms now so walking around the gorcery store with a kid on your hip is a likely occurence. He is apparently in the 85% for height and weight. He's a big boy and strong as can be.

Harper J.

This kid is a trooper. He smiled an coo-ed through a long drive to Georgia, long days driving around looking for an apartment in Georgia, a long trip to Florida and then the long trip back home. There were, of course a few exceptions where Harper had had enough driving. This was completely warranted.

He was so good during our trip that MaryJo and I started feeling guilty. We'd been driving for hours and Mj would crawl into the back seat and he'd smile and do his version of a laugh which sounds a bit like someone coming up for water, but because he's a baby it's cute, and we'd feel bad. You kinda want him to scream at you for asking him to be good for 18 hours, but no. You crawl back into the back seat and he's all, "Daddy! There you are. I've been sitting back here for 18 hours wondering where you and mom were. You're here! (Sound of coming up for water and a big smile)

Harper has become an individual of sorts. He smiles a lot. He cries when he's hungry and he has this little long weak moan he does when he's ready to sleep but isn't exactly ready to do the sleeping part. He prefers to be held facing out which is a little bit sad because you don't feel like you see him much this way. It's sort of funny because you hold him for twenty minutes and then you turn him around and he's like, "Mommy, there you are! Where have you been?! (Coming up for air, big smile.)

Any way, here are some pictures his mom took. We weighed him tonight. He is 13.5 lbs. He is closing in on ten weeks old.

Check out these kicks. He's rockin his first pair of Nike's. Someone gave us this big bag of clothes and inside was a pair of Jordan's. I don't know if I've ever been so happy.

Harper's Weekly

Here are some more photos. He's got about a million new faces he's trying out. I don't think he's settled on which is the look for him yet.

Week 3

This has been an incredible few weeks. Harper seems to be acclimating to the world well. He is now weighing in at about 10 pounds carrying most of the weight in his lips, nose, hands and feet. He is sleeping through the night, waking only to eat. His patterns during the day are changing, but for the past week or so he sleeps most of the day until around 8:30. From 8:30 to about 10:30/11:00 he sings songs to his mother and me about wanting to eat and about wanting to pass gas and about not wanting to sleep. I have a number of tricks for these hours. Swinging him in his Moses basket works sometimes but is physically tiring. He has passed out a number of times lying on my knees, stomach down or over the shoulder. It seems like he really likes to be burped, although he doesn't love to do the burping part.

The end all of tricks is the old pinky in the mouth bit. Add a rocking chair to this or a bouncing Mommy and its lights out Irene.

He is growing very quickly. He smiles occasionally and although this smile is scientifically not authentic, it feels authentic enough. It's incredible how a smile from that little boy makes you feel. Today he smiled while I was dancing with him and it literally made my day. The Land Rover broke down on my way home from Mother's Day shopping and I was just crushed. We don't have any money and the idea of now fixing a never inexpensive Land Rover was painful. But man, that kid smiles at me while we're dancing and...I don't know. I don't have words poetic enough to say.


Here's a picture of a very happy Ja Ja (Czech for Grandpa) holding his first grandchild. It is quite an experience to see your Father hold your newborn and know that one day, those big hands held you. It doesn't seem like my hands could ever be that big. Perhaps Harper feels the same.


This is Andrew Johnson. He was a Professor of mine at Buffalo, who I admire greatly. He came to visit the baby. We talked about painting and school, the world of academia, and the baby. We talked about the colors in Harpers face, greens and yellows, grey blues and bright pinks. I didn't hear him say this and I don't think anyone but Harper was meant to hear it but MaryJo overheard him anyway. He said to Harper in a voice made for small students to hear, "I couldn't paint you because people would accuse me of not being subtle." MaryJo told me after he left. I thought that was a beautiful thing to say.

More soon... I promise to take some pictures when his eyes are open.