Rememberance of Things Past

11 Months Old

Literally, you blink. You blink and that six month old rolling around in the laundry is now tugging at your leg saying "up up up," because he's tired of walking around. In the past three days, Harper has decided that walking is ok so he's just gonna go for it. In the previous weeks he has been comfortable walking from Mom to Dad and then back but apparently that wasn't cutting it. Now he just goes blazing off so condfidently marching himslf right over toys and books and Dad and then collapses when things get going a little too quickly.

Harper's first word was without a doubt, "hat." He closes his eyes and sort of picks up steam and then bursts with a "Hat!" He does all of the normal baby tricks, like "how big is Harper?" (both hands shoot to sky) and "Yay Yay, Clap Clap" (hands clapping). It seems like he's been fake sneezing and coughing for months now. That is a sight to see. His favorite books include Sheep in a Jeep (which he calls "Uh-Oh"). The books goes, "Sheep in a Jeep on a hill that's steep." Harper predicts the next page with "Uh Oh, The Jeep won't go." He only gets the Uh-Oh part for now. His favorite book of all time is Five Little Ducks. I've even tried beating him at his own game and reading it until he just can't stand it anymore. I have not found his breaking point yet. Neither MaryJo or myself can decipher what this means but as soon as you begin to read this book to him he looks straight into your eyes and makes the "brrrrr" sound. He does it so seriously like it's something you really need to know. "Brrr!" "BRRRR!" "Sheesh is anyone listening to me?"

He is not eating at night anymore. Five out of ten nights he sleeps from about 7:00 to about 7:00. If he does wake up I get to go into his bedroom and try to rock him back to sleep. He has a very very soft white Blankey that comforts him at night.

Unfortuntely his favorite toy bar none is the computer and the mouse. He would do anything to have five minutes with that keyboard. The sadest funniest thing that happens is, when he gets on his toes and starts grabbing for the mouse I say, "Harper, no no," and I go over and pick him up. He instantly begins sobbing, and shaking his head, no no. It's so damn cute, I end up laughing. I try not to but it's really hard.

Six Months Old

bulldog laundry
sheep
new smile
hood
first bite
dad overalls
crawl
sleeping harper

Five Months next Sunday

Georgia Bulldawgs. We won tonight. We beat USC. 2 and 0. I watched the game on ESPN. When the cable people came to hook up our Internet we told them we didn't want cable TV. We shot the shat with them for a few minutes. I told then I loved to watch golf. MaryJo said we don't need the distraction. When they left they called MaryJo and said, "Tell your husband to put golf on… Welcome to Athens." Free basic cable just like that. ESPN comes in fuzzy so there's no sound but we just turn on the local radio station and watch the game on mute. The radio tells us what will happen on TV a half second before it happens. It's Preemptively American.

Harper is keeping MaryJo and I both entertained. He is a bundle of joy during the day, especially in the morning. We are patiently awaiting a book that will hopefully help us wean him from the Orthodontic Pacifier. We refuse to call it Binky. He has learned to roll himself over onto his stomach and he's working on making his way back to his back. He's so close. He's old enough to do this to his neck, "Who's my little goof ball?" and nestle your nose right in between his chin line and chest and he laughs and laughs. You have to be cleanly shaven of course. I don't get to see him much Tuesday through Thursday but by Friday we get to spend a lot of time together.

School is going very well. I am completely busy as expected. When I'm not in class or in the studio or at a lecture or at an opening (three in three weeks), I’m home reading or drawing or writing. It's absolutely heavenly. I don't want to look back three years from now and wish I had done more. I've spent my entire life doing that.

MaryJo is staying home with Harper and working part time. Her job couldn't be better. She works only when they need her and even then it is only about 15 hours of work a week, which doesn't sound like a lot but is. That's three hours a day, but if you only get in an hour and a half one day then it's four and a half the next. It adds up very quickly. She is enjoying the weather thoroughly, taking Harper for walks all over the place. We live about 2 tenths of a mile from downtown Athens and about a Mile from Campus. We are 1.6 miles from the Cedar Street Studios (where I paint). Our apartment is perfectly located. There is a very pretty coffee/bakery just down the road from us that I can see us frequenting.

I haven't golfed since I left Ithaca. It hurts. It hurts bad. I just keep telling myself that if I work hard enough I'll be able to get a job at a college that gives incredible faculty discounts on season passes.

Also, I bought a moped. Gas was $3.40 a week ago and a parking permit, which would not permit me to park anywhere near the studios, was three hundred dollars. Add that up over three years it’s $900 plus whatever I spend in gas. This moped gets over one hundred miles to the gallon. Yes, I deal with a modicum of pointed fingers and smirks but it's worth it. I smile back and usually try to do a pop-a-wheelie. This makes the smirks down right laughs.

8.5.05

We're geared up to make our move to Georgia. I thought I should snap a couple of pics before we go. MJ and I have discussed this and we both tend to agree that although newborns are very cute and very new born, a three month old is what it's all about. They smile and laugh and hold hands and shoulders and kick and listen to songs and play giddyup (discovered this today). They're just a joy. He sits up in our arms now so walking around the gorcery store with a kid on your hip is a likely occurence. He is apparently in the 85% for height and weight. He's a big boy and strong as can be.

Harper J.

This kid is a trooper. He smiled an coo-ed through a long drive to Georgia, long days driving around looking for an apartment in Georgia, a long trip to Florida and then the long trip back home. There were, of course a few exceptions where Harper had had enough driving. This was completely warranted.

He was so good during our trip that MaryJo and I started feeling guilty. We'd been driving for hours and Mj would crawl into the back seat and he'd smile and do his version of a laugh which sounds a bit like someone coming up for water, but because he's a baby it's cute, and we'd feel bad. You kinda want him to scream at you for asking him to be good for 18 hours, but no. You crawl back into the back seat and he's all, "Daddy! There you are. I've been sitting back here for 18 hours wondering where you and mom were. You're here! (Sound of coming up for water and a big smile)

Harper has become an individual of sorts. He smiles a lot. He cries when he's hungry and he has this little long weak moan he does when he's ready to sleep but isn't exactly ready to do the sleeping part. He prefers to be held facing out which is a little bit sad because you don't feel like you see him much this way. It's sort of funny because you hold him for twenty minutes and then you turn him around and he's like, "Mommy, there you are! Where have you been?! (Coming up for air, big smile.)

Any way, here are some pictures his mom took. We weighed him tonight. He is 13.5 lbs. He is closing in on ten weeks old.

Check out these kicks. He's rockin his first pair of Nike's. Someone gave us this big bag of clothes and inside was a pair of Jordan's. I don't know if I've ever been so happy.

Harper's Weekly

Here are some more photos. He's got about a million new faces he's trying out. I don't think he's settled on which is the look for him yet.

Week 3

This has been an incredible few weeks. Harper seems to be acclimating to the world well. He is now weighing in at about 10 pounds carrying most of the weight in his lips, nose, hands and feet. He is sleeping through the night, waking only to eat. His patterns during the day are changing, but for the past week or so he sleeps most of the day until around 8:30. From 8:30 to about 10:30/11:00 he sings songs to his mother and me about wanting to eat and about wanting to pass gas and about not wanting to sleep. I have a number of tricks for these hours. Swinging him in his Moses basket works sometimes but is physically tiring. He has passed out a number of times lying on my knees, stomach down or over the shoulder. It seems like he really likes to be burped, although he doesn't love to do the burping part.

The end all of tricks is the old pinky in the mouth bit. Add a rocking chair to this or a bouncing Mommy and its lights out Irene.

He is growing very quickly. He smiles occasionally and although this smile is scientifically not authentic, it feels authentic enough. It's incredible how a smile from that little boy makes you feel. Today he smiled while I was dancing with him and it literally made my day. The Land Rover broke down on my way home from Mother's Day shopping and I was just crushed. We don't have any money and the idea of now fixing a never inexpensive Land Rover was painful. But man, that kid smiles at me while we're dancing and...I don't know. I don't have words poetic enough to say.


Here's a picture of a very happy Ja Ja (Czech for Grandpa) holding his first grandchild. It is quite an experience to see your Father hold your newborn and know that one day, those big hands held you. It doesn't seem like my hands could ever be that big. Perhaps Harper feels the same.


This is Andrew Johnson. He was a Professor of mine at Buffalo, who I admire greatly. He came to visit the baby. We talked about painting and school, the world of academia, and the baby. We talked about the colors in Harpers face, greens and yellows, grey blues and bright pinks. I didn't hear him say this and I don't think anyone but Harper was meant to hear it but MaryJo overheard him anyway. He said to Harper in a voice made for small students to hear, "I couldn't paint you because people would accuse me of not being subtle." MaryJo told me after he left. I thought that was a beautiful thing to say.

More soon... I promise to take some pictures when his eyes are open.

Harper J. Bienko

All right, I'll make this as quick as possible. At 10:00pm Monday night MaryJo decided to head into bed. We both had a long day. I went golfing with Gorss, Rob (a great new friend) and Alan (my brother-in-law) in the afternoon to celebrate Gorss's 37th birthday. The ladies, (Sarah, Gorss' wife, Kristy with a C, and MaryJo with a baby) hung out at the Gorss homestead. They went for a long walk outside enjoying the same sunshine we were enjoying. They talked and laughed and shared excitement about babies that were already there and babies that were still to come. When we finished golfing we all headed to the G homestead for some pizza. It was a gorgeous day.

So at 10:15pm I went into the bedroom to tuck MaryJo into bed. She had on relaxing music. She was concentrating on calming her entire body. I rubbed her back slowly for about 45 seconds. She was almost asleep when she sat up and said, "My, my water just broke." She stood out of bed quickly to confirm. We called the midwife right away. She told us to try to get some sleep and call her by at least 7:00am. About two hours later, MaryJo felt that her contractions were about two minutes apart. We called the midwife again who decided, despite MJ's relaxed demeanor on the phone, it was probably a good idea for us to head to the hospital. We made one stop at the ATM on the way and arrived just short of 1:30am. Despite my calm demeanor and facade of peacefulness, I decided to deliver the pizza I had eaten at Gorss' onto the construction fence that outlined the hospital. If you know anything about me you know that this is a standard occurrence that I look forward to being done with. I felt like a million dollars. The stingy fence did not offer me a tip.

We walked to the Maternity Ward of the hospital taking breaks every two minutes. We met our Midwife (Graham) at the front desk. MaryJo was not having a contraction then so we met with smiles and small talk. It was approx. 1:30am. Here is a basic outline of what you know as a husband going into a birth. You start at zero cm dilated. Your wife must be dilated 10cm before you can deliver. It takes about an hour per cm. You do not generally show up at the hospital relaxed and in control when you are 7CM DIALATED! The midwife and MaryJo were pleasantly surprised. I had no idea what any of that meant.

We spent some time in the bed, some time on the birthing ball, traveled down the hall to the big Jacuzzi for a while and then back into the bed. I'll spare you the details but my wife is an amazing woman with strength that I do not have. She was very brave and very in control. I was by her side throughout. It was a heroic three hours spent breathing and rubbing and moving. By 4:35am, a 7lb. 15oz., 18 & 3/4 inch baby was laying on MaryJo's chest. We asked that the nurses not tell us the sex so we waited a minute and then checked under the towel. Judging by the monstrous hand size and the big old feet we had both guessed it was a boy. Mj said, "Is it a boy?" and I said, "Is the Pope German?" Just kidding. We had a boy name picked out but we hadn't settled on a girl’s name. Apparently this is integral in deciding the sex of your child while in the womb. If you come up with a girls name and no boy name, dude, yer getting a gal.

We spent the next hour or so just starring at the baby and each other thanking God quietly for the experience.

We spent the morning dosing on and off, checking the baby and each other. It seemed uncanny how alert, healthy and beautiful my wife looked. I know not every birth is like this and I'm sure TV wouldn't be as exciting if they were but I've got to tell you, it's nothing like you see on TV. There was no screaming, MaryJo took no drugs, and she wasn't sweating and swearing at me. It was beautiful. It was trying physically for MaryJo all of which was natural and expected. I'm not saying it was easy I'm just dispelling some of the myth that birth is such a traumatic experience. I've never seen anything as miraculous.

This is the first picture taken after the birth.

This is our awesome midwife. I predicted that she, out of the six midwives, would be on call the night of our birth.

Harper is getting a first look at how pretty his mom is.

I hadn't slept much at this point. That doesn't explain the hair I know.

This is Mom and Harper at home in the kitchen

Harper J. Bienko

I would like to introduce you to our beautiful baby boy, Harper Joshua Bienko. At 4:30 am on Monday the 18th of April, by the unlimited grace of God, Harper J. Bienko was born. Surely I will relay the entire story of his birth to you in the very near future along with as many pictures as I can, but for now I must go hold our little buddy. I can tell you that the birth was incredible, from the water break at 10:30 pm the night before, to our trip to the hospital at 1:30 am to the birth three hours after we arrived at the hospital at 4:30 am. MaryJo was laughing and talking as soon as the baby was out and is feeling great today. She is by all estimations well on her way to recovery. We are home now and enjoying the smells of baby skin and hair and fingers and toes and bellies.